


The Joy of HOAs

by thewightknight



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, Not a Euphemism, Pre-Relationship, Shower Sex, leaky faucets, suction cup dildos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 09:23:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21052052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: When Dorian picked a plumber from the list of approved contractors, he never imagined he'd end up with someone like Cullen Rutherford of Rutherford Plumbing to fix his leaks.





	The Joy of HOAs

**Author's Note:**

> I came across[ this picture ](https://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ckyyJQTO1qg1o5do1_1280.png)and the rest just happened. One chapter for now - more may happen, or not. We'll see.

“Hi! I hear you have a leaky faucet.”

Dorian tried not to ogle the repairman too obviously, and failed, from the way the man ducked his head and blushed. The condo’s HOA had a list of approved contractors and he’d picked Rutherford Plumbing by way of closing his eyes and pointing a finger at the list at random. He’d have to kiss his finger later.   


He’d like to kiss Mr. Rutherford of Rutherford Plumbing, too, and maybe do a few other things to and/or with him. But he couldn’t think of that now.   


“Thanks for coming so quickly,” he said instead of any of the things that had sprung to mind, and then he allowed himself to wonder how quickly he could make this gorgeous hunk of a man come as he led the way down the hall. “I just bought this place a couple of months ago and I’m discovering it has a few quirks.   


“Well, if it’s plumbing problems, I’m your guy.”

Swallowing the first three retorts that sprung to mind, Dorian gestured at the bathroom. “It’s the sink in here. Do you need anything?” Like a blowjob?

“I’ll let you know.”

Fighting the urge to linger, Dorian left the plumber to his work. He only checked once to see if his pants might ride low while he worked on the repairs. No such luck - his shirt remained tucked neatly into his pants throughout.   


Before the plumber had arrived Dorian had cleared everything out from the vanity’s cupboards and drawers. The contents were now contained in two boxes in the corner of his bedroom. He hadn’t closed either of them, and his favorite toy sat on top of the pile in one of them, taunting him.  _ Later,  _ he promised it.   


Mr. Rutherford Plumbing was efficient. It only took an hour before he declared the job finished. Dorian was presented with a neatly written receipt, and the amount was well within reason for the job.   


“Leaky seal?” he asked as he signed and wrote out a check.   


“Just an O-ring, yes. If it happens again, it is a pretty easy fix. There’s plenty of tutorials on YouTube.”

“That’s not a good way to get repeat business,” Dorian scolded him as he handed over the check, with a copy of the receipt. PAID IN FULL had been written across the bottom.   


“We keep plenty busy, trust me.”

“Well, thank you …” Dorian checked the receipt again. “... Colin?”

“It’s Cullen, actually.”

“Cullen,” Dorian repeated, flashing his most charming smile. Dorian was rewarded with another shuffle of feet and a blush on Cullen’s cheeks as he ducked his head, rubbing at the back of his neck with one hand.

“Well, good luck. And congrats on the new place!”

Dorian saw him to the door and stood watching Cullen’s retreating back until the elevator arrived. When Cullen turned around to see him still standing there, Dorian smiled again and waved, then closed his door.

  
  
  


Clouds of steam filled the bathroom and fogged the mirror. The patter of the water hitting the tile mingled with Dorian’s grunts and moans as he pushed back onto his favorite dildo. It was early for his evening shower but he’d spent the rest of the afternoon after the plumber had left picturing scenario after scenario and had gotten himself all worked up over it.

His new tub had proven slipperier than his previous one, or maybe his old mat had been on its last legs. After the second time he’d slipped he’d gone out and bought a new one. Luckily he hadn’t been in the midst of entertaining himself when he’d lost his footing. That would have been awkward to explain in the ER.   


The new non-slip mat seemed to be doing the trick. The foot he’d planted on it didn’t budge, even with his other one braced against the lip of the tub. He’d started slow, but when it showed no signs of moving, he’d picked up the pace.   


Dorian sank back until his back hit the wall. It wasn’t quite right yet. Shifting his feet, he tried again and there it was, the perfect angle. It wasn’t as good as, say, a hunky blond plumber, but it would have to do.   


He could picture it though, and he did, imagining warm skin behind him instead of tile, someone else’s hands toying with his nipples and stroking his cock.   


“Fuck, yes. Just like that,” he murmured, twisting his nipple to the point of pain as he slammed back onto the dildo. “Harder. Fuck. Fuck me.” He was so close. Just a little more. And then …  _ crunch. _

“Fuck,” he shouted again, but for an entirely different reason, as he felt the wall behind him give. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” One look at the wall confirmed his worst suspicions. Four of the tiles had caved in. “Of all the …. Why couldn’t you have lasted one more minute?” he asked the wall. He turned off the water so the drywall behind the tiles would get wet (well, wetter), then gazed down at his flagging cock with exasperation. “Definitely a new way to kill the mood,” he told it.

It wasn’t until he’d dried off that he perked up. Digging out the receipt from the previous repair, he picked up his phone and dialed.

“Hello? Is this Cullen? This is Dorian from last week. …. Yes, with the leaky sink. So, I’ve run into a new problem. I don’t suppose you do tile?”

**Author's Note:**

> AO3 endnotes text  
Thanks for reading! If you want to say hi, [check out my profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/profile) for where I’m currently hanging out on this here internet thing. If you liked this, please share! Kudos are love and comments are always appreciated.


End file.
